You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Treating such a beautiful creature the way you do. You know who you are, you trespassers. Stay out of our affairs, they are not for your minds and hearts to dwell upon. Leave us be.

Well, thanks to shipping errors my copr of Conquerer of Shamballa didn't come in until today. BUT IT'S HERE! I've watched about three times already with Hayley. I can't get enough. It's just so beautiful. And the characters! Oh I love their alter versions so much! Heidrich is wonderful. He's so adorable, like a little boy with a science project! Hayley likes Alphonse best because of his determination. Edward was voiced beautifully. He was so sincere and honest in the way he spoke. I loved it, especially the lessons it taught. A greater good, not being wrapped in a world of fantasy. It made my reevaulate my fangirlishness. I want to make changes in the world around me now. A fantasy is a wonderful thing but turning it into a dream, an inspiration to make your own world better is something far greater than anything a fantasy can offer.
Edward and Alphonse are my inspiration. The dream is yet to come...

Well, I am glad to be rid of them. They were just weighing me down and holding me back. I refuse to limit myself with someone elses standards.
To my friend, elfinragdoll, Thank you so much for your kindness! You've been nothing but an angel to me. I didn't expect you or anyone to respond to my postings but you responded tenfold. And for that I am grateful. And many congratulations on your marriage...though I'm still clueless as to what you meant by a livewife. But moseltof!
And in other news, Hayley has a kitten named Edward. Adorable little beastie that he is. And he send my poor Alphonse into fits. Now for a little backstory on Alphonse and Edward. Alphonse was a graduation gift from Hayley. She said I could use a little fuzzy in my life and so Al was the result, my little puffy guinea pig of joy. He's a loud little sqeaker. Edward is a different story though. Edward is a dumpster kitten. I found out behind work and brought him home. Aunt Janice loves him and Hayley adores him. He's a marmalade color with white front paws. He's very finicky and a runt. He also has the oh so adorable habit of getting stuck in odd places. So far it's been the entertainment center, my jacket, under the couch, and-get this-in the fridge. Aunt Janice didn't see him! Luckily Hayley found him not even ten minutes later. He was eating the ham. ~laughter~

Well, it finally happened. Chairty and I fought. She called me last night cursing. I'm not sure what the bitch was going on about. Something about me trying to ruin Jeremy's happiness with his new girlfriend by seducing him. WTF? Really, wtf? I told her I didn't know what she was talking about but she just kept carrying on and on. I was really starting to wonder if she was drunk or just out of her frickin mind. Then she said I should just fuck off and die. That's when I hung up the phone.
Next day, I was out on my way to work and she bumps into me. Starts making a scene of it and slaps me. Just hauls off and hits me right on the spot. I was speechless. She said something like "That should teach you". I got so mad, not knowing what she was going on about that I punched her in the back of the head as she was walking off and told her to just stay the hell away from me from now on.
Since then I've been spammed with hate mail. They don't know my LJ though so this place is safe. Wouldn't be surprised if she tried to draw up charges.
How did it come to this? What the hell happened? I feel like I just missed something here...

I don't know why but I felt the need to share this song. Blue Ocean by Blue October

I'm just a normal boy
The sequent of the overboard
My ship would leave country
but it rather swim ashore
without a life guess I'd be stuck again
wish I was much more masculine
maybe then i could learn to swim
like fourteen miles away
now floating up and down
I spend colliding into sound
like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom
of my every thong that freaks me out
the light house beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be......be


I want to swim away but dont know how
Somtimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
let the waves up take me down
let the hurricane set in motion yea
let the rain of what i fell right now come down...let the rain com down


Where is the coastguard I keep looking his direction
for a spotlight give me something I need something for pertection
mabye floating junk would do just fine
the jet ski some come left behind
I'm dreading for my life believe me
how can I keep up this breathing
not knowing how you think I scream aloud begin to sink
my legs and arms are broken down with envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
how can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face relaxed and floated into space


I want to swim away but dont know how
sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
let the waves up take me down
let the hurricane set i motion yea
let the rain of what I feel right now come down...let the rain come down


now wake into the sun
I calculate what I have done
like jumping from the bow yea
just to prove that i knew how yea
its midnights late reminder
of the loss of her the one I love
my will to quickly end it all sat front row
in my need to fall and
into the ocean end it all [x7]

I want to swim away but dont know how
sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
let the waves up take me down
let the hurricane set in motion yea
let the rain of what i feel right now come down...let the rain come down


Into space..............I thought of just your face

Well, I met someone yesterday online. A very interesting young woman who seems to share my love for FMA and more. At any rate I think I might have scared her off. Either that or she had to get offline before she read my last post. I any case I eagerly await her return.
It's plesant having someone to talk to who understands for a change. Who doesn't try to convince me I'm just depressed or downtrodden. Which is kind of funny to me that the most depressed people I know are the ones who try to convince me of that.

Still wondering where my FMA movie is! I hate ordering stuff online because it takes so long to get here. Not looking forward to work tonight. Michael called in so they needed a third usher for the late shift. Oh well, at least I'm getting paid. More money to feed my obsession with the Elrics. I want to purchase some Doujin soon but not sure what copies to get. Any suggestions?
Like anyone's going to respond to that.
Ah well.
So I was sitting on the couch today watching the last DVD when I hear a little noise behind me. I turned around and there's my Ed face pillow peeking over the back of the couch at me. Hayley scared the living shit out of me with that thing! Janice came running in cause she thought I'd hurt myself from the way I screamed. Stupid little sister.
Speaking of which, I caught Hayley the other day drawing alchemy circles on the sidewalk. She was clapping her hands and touching them then walking off like she was dissappointed. She's ten years old, I thought she'd know better...like I haven't tried it myself...
She's a sweetheart though. Stayed up with me last night reading the novelized books. Those and Harry Potter are about all the things she wants to read right now. She fell asleep against me and I stayed up, sitting there. Her warm body tucked in next to mine, watching the way the candles I had lit by the bed flickered across the room. And it occured to me that there are few things in this world as magical as sharing a marvelous story with someone you love.
If only it were real. I mean, Hayley is so intelligent for her age and if their world were real she would have a real chance at her dreams. Here, realistically...where's she going to go? Aunt Janice doesn't have spare cash for college. And the little I'm setting aside for her isn't going to do much more than help her get a place of her own later. I know she's only ten but what future exists out there for her? Cleaning theatres like her big sister? That's no kind of life. Not for her.
Charity has 'offically' stopped talking to me until I get a MySpace. I told her to buzz off and she did. Maybe permenantly. Jeremy keeps texting me about his new bimbo and Nicole sent me an e-mail telling me I should make up with Charity if we want to stay friends.
Eh, screw 'em all, I don't care.

Just finished watching V for Vendetta again. A beautiful piece with a beautiful concept. I still get chills when I hear him say:
"Remember, remember the 5th of November,
the gunpowder, treason and plot;
I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot."
There is something so perfect about that movie. The way the story runs into this vast plot connecting everyone and everything within. And the ending, god the ending is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. So many people all standing up for one reason. For Freedom.
My favorite scene in the entire movie was when Evey reads Valerie's letter. Valerie's life with her lover was so sad but so wonderful. If only we all could have three years of roses, perhaps the world would be a better place. There was also something so perfect, so natural about her and her girlfriend curled on that couch together. It really made me wish I wasn't alone in that respect. But it's hard to find anyone with more than a passing interest. Most guys don't want a chatterbox and most girls don't know I'm that way. Yes, yes, I'm bi okay? Still haven't had an actual girlfriend yet well, for more than a day anyway. ~sigh~ Something about that story makes me unafraid to say it. To stand up and say that I am what I am and you can never take that. Never.
Three years of roses. I'd give anything for just a day...
"An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us."-Valerie in V for Vendetta
The truth from the words of a condemned...
And now another word from V: "Did you think to kill me? There’s no flesh or blood within this cloak to kill. There’s only an idea. Ideas are bulletproof."
Ah, beauty...

In other news I still have not gotten the FMA movie I ordered! It's been three days already!!!! Okay so I'm impatient. But how can you wait for something you know is going to be awesome? How do I know it will be awesome? Ed and Al will be in it, how can it not be awesome?
Speaking of which, I started a fanfiction today. And EdxAl fiction. Roughly based (even thought I haven't seen it yet) the movie. I've read a few spoilers and having seen the end of the series I know the setting so I hope it come across well.
Thanks be that none of my friends are on livejournal for now I can persue my fanfiction without worry of becoming a social outcast.

Got awhile before work so I thought I'd get on here and do something. It's been kinda dead around here. Not too hot for around here but still aggravating. I need to get my hair cut soon, it's gotten way out of hand. I'll probably do that tomorrow.
Aunt Janice has been out to the store most of the day today. She's just not the same since Uncle Benny died. She's like a ghost of the Aunt Janice I used to know, bright, cheerful, energetic. Now all she does is go to work, come home, eat, and sleep. It's like she's not even living here. I found an empty bottle of Jim Bean in the trash next to her bed last night. I'm not sure what to think about that...
Jeremy came by to talk about his new girlfriend today, asshole. The whole conversation was just to rub it in my face that he had her...like I should care. Stupid bastard doesn't seem to understand that I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole now. Not after all that shit he pulled last summer. Spreading those rumors about me being a lesbian and everything just because of one comment I made about Nicole.
Not to say that there's anything wrong with being a lesbian. I mean I know of people who are...not really anyone personally...but it's nothing bad.
Well, I've got to go get a shower before work starts.
Wonder if Jeremy's going to take her out tonight. Probably not, cheap son of a bitch.
Post more later.

Charity told me today that livejournal is lame. She's still pissy cause I didn't get a MySpace. I hate MySpace. Everyone I know is on flippin' MySpace! I like this better, they can't find me here. I can be what I like here . . .
Sometimes I look in the mirror in the morning and I don't know myself. Around my friends I'm loud, flirty, and obnoxious. I don't feel that way 24/7, not sure why I act that way around them. But they consistantly act like I'm less than them in some way. With Charity it's money. She knows my family doesn't have much and teases me about it regularly. It appears to be playful but I can tell there's an underlying sense of malice there. With Jeremy it's dating. He knows I had a crush on him ages ago and ever since he's taken every chance he gets to rub his new girlfriends in my face even though I don't give a shit anymore. Nicole's just Nicole, the super queen bitch supreme. I don't know . . . I'm really starting to wonder if they're even people I care about anymore. I know we graduated together but they're not even people anymore to me. They're just faceless puppets. Parodies of life as it is.
Then again that's how everyone seems to me anymore, except Hayley. She's just so innocent and so smart. She can find beauty in anything. The other day she came up to me with a rock and asked me what I thought of it. I told her 'it's a rock'. She looked dissapointed and told me to look closer. After staring at it for a few minutes she finally pointed out that it was shaped like a horses head in profile. Sometimes I think she wishes I was a better sister that way. Seeing what she sees. She seems so stifled here. I want better for her.
This is a lot more than I intended to write and a lot more than I intended to say so I'll stop here for now with this:

You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see
-'Let Love In' Goo Goo Dolls

Hello . . . whomever is reading this. I'm Lynn. And this is my livejournal . . . yeah. There's really not much to put here that I can think of. I mean I don't think anyone's going to read it, since all of my friends are one MySpace. Then again I guess this is more to get away from them than be with them so let's see . . . where to begin.

I live in Florida with my Aunt and sister Hayley. I work in a movie theatre as an usher and sometimes I run the ticket booth. I graduated from high school in 2005 and haven't tried to pick up a text book since. I learn all I like at the local library. Um . . . I spend my nights watching Cartoon network's adult swim and doing chores. I have a guinea pig named Alphonse after Alphonse Elric on Fullmetal Alchemist ~embarassed to admit~ who is currently running on his wheel and driving me bonkers.

There. I threw a shoe at his cage. It missed but he shut up.

Any way . . . yeah. That's about it really I guess except thank god for the internet lol, I've been without access since I left school. I'm paying for this out of my own pocket since my Aunt really can't afford it. Hope it works out . . .